THE NEFARIOUS DR. WILHELM SKREEM’S REPULSIVE RECIPE FOR OATMEAL COOKIES

0 Oatmeal

0 Chocolate

100 lbs. Used Water

Feet

Armpit Noises

Angry Stares (to taste)

300 cups flour

300 cups sugar

30 cups more flour

Beets

Place the flour and sugar on the floor. Leave them there for six months. Befriend the ants that

congregate. Overthrow the ant queen and become ruler of the ant colony. Enlarge the ants and

take over the world. Then breed the ants and sell them. Lose all your money to a champion ant

breeder; retire from your dictatorship in disgrace. Or, throw out all the flour and sugar, just eat

the beets. Gross!

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