1. If you shoot a man in Reno, only do it to watch him die

2. If you shoot a woman in Reno, only do it never.

3. If you shoot a dog in Reno, be prepared to be very, very sad.

4. If you shoot a cat in Reno, I’m impressed! Those cats move fast!

5. If you shoot a film in Reno, do it digitally. It’s cheaper.

6. If you shoot a short in Reno, do it on film. It’s artier.

7. If you short a fuse in Reno, call Bernard. He’s a reliable electrician.

8. If you short a sheet in Reno, short the sheet of your shweetheart.

9. If you shweet your shreet in Reno, be shure to shriek shritely shorn schlopsticks.

10. If your name is Rio, dance along the sand.