1. Christmas cardigans are evil. Button-eyed reindeer bore through your soul.

2. Other cardigans are not evil. Especially zippered ones. Too goody-goody

3. High-fives are evil, especially fifty-foot high-fives.

4. Fist bumps are not evil, unless it’s a fist to the face bump!

5. Gloves are not evil, unless fingerless.

6. Gloves with fingers but no palm are not evil, just obnoxious

7. Scarves only with Christmas cardigans.

8. Mix your plaids, and your navy blues and browns.

9. Pullover sweaters are neutral, except deep v-necks. Oh, the hypnotic deep v!

10. Lastly, wear tap shoes everywhere, especially the shower. The acoustics in the shower will send

those taps throughout the neighborhood!