1. Don’t do good. This seems like a no-brainer, but if you see an old woman up a tree, or a kitten
crossing the street, don’t attempt to help them. Just point and laugh-evilly!
2. Laugh evilly. With a bwah-ha-ha or a mwah-ha-ha. No tee-hees or ho, ho, hos.
3. Your hair must be unkempt. Kempt hair is a sure sign of goodness, those strands of deadly
deadness must be free to roam about your devious dome.
4. Sip your tea loudly. It will annoy everyone. Everyone!
5. Use lots of z-words, like zip, zap, zoom, and Zantac.
6. Look over your shoulder.
8. Fool people into looking over their shoulder.
9. If you have a robot assistant, the walking someone backward until they trip over your robot
assistant, who’s hunched over is classic evil.
10. Finally, only eat rotten fruit. Frowning bananas, peaches with grudges, strawberries that don’t