“Aar! Me leg’s been chopped clean off!”

“Tsk, tsk. That’s a real bummer.”

“Ho there, tree. I din’t see yer there, in the forest full of trees.”

“Yup. What’s new, pirate man?”

“I find meself in a bit of a pickle. Could ye be sparin’ of some wood for a new leg?”

“Hmm. No can do, pal. Yeah, I’m using all this wood to be a tree. Sorry.”

“Aw, come now. Just a small bit of kindlin’, I swear ye wouldn’t miss it.”

“Negativo, compadre. Maybe you should check a hardware store, or online wood shop.”

“I asked ye nicely, now, bein’ a pirate, I’ll take what I want.”

“Not so fast.”

“Hey, stop, conkin’ me with those pine cones!”

“Back off, Stumpy!”

“Wait a second! I could use these to cobble a new leg!”

“Go for it.”

“Thank ye kindly, tree.”

“Don’t mention it. Just go away.”