Burt, Burt

Button your shirt

And, oh, what’s up with the grass skirt?

Just who do you think you’re trying to fool?

You’ve never even seen a pool!

You’re a complete stranger to the tropics

Your view of the beach is frankly myopic

I know this, Burt, I’m not that dim

I’m not sure you can even swim

I must admit, I am befuddled

But if you want to play with puddles

Be my guest, go splash around

(Don’t worry, folks! Burt will not drown.

The lesson here is take a chance

Though I still think Burt should wear pants.)