Welcome to a new feature on Cotton Candy Beard, the CCB List! Today’s list is (almost) seasonally appropriate, as it relates to Christmas. We here at CCB were fortunate enough to get our hands on a highly edifying list. It dates back to 459 BC, way back when Santa Claus was just getting started. He’d recently acquired reindeer from the Furry Non-People Creatures Rescue League. He had to come up with names for each of them, to avoid confusion. At first, he called them all Peggy, but since there were eight of them, this was a chaotic system. Here is a list of what were ultimately rejected names (the reindeer were named by Clement C. Moore, days later.)

1.     Christmas Yves

2.     Rein-bow Connection

3.     Lando Calculicious

4.     Derek Verboten

5.     Ouroboros Borealis

6.     Rudolph

7.     Ol’ Horned Head

8.     Baby Horned Head

9.     Yuppie Horned Head

10.  Senor Arturo FuertePants

11.  Nicky the Mustache

12.  Brenda iBrowse

13.  Smasher

14.  Splasher

15.  Brasher

16.  Fixion

17.  Meteor

18.  Cherub

19.  Schwander

20.  Peggy