A big chapeau ball!

And I just know mine

Will be grandest of all.

It’s pointed and red

With green feathers athwart

A ten gallon hat

With three extra quarts!

And in the right profile

If you kind of squint,

You’ll see Millard Fillmore,

Our 13th President.

It’s reversible, too!

And on the inside

The hat is so soft lined

With unicorn hide!

It can guess your height

And count all of your teeth

And if you’ve a broadsword

It acts as a sheath.

So just try and beat me

Or you can play possum.

There’s no competition