Hi! My Names is Bailey! I love love love love love hair! I love blonde hair and brown hair and black hair and sometimes even red hair. All hair is GREAT. Long hair is pretty good, right? You love to run fingers through it and brush it. But you know what’s even better than long hair? Short hair. Short curly hair. You heard me right, ladies and girlfriends, I’m talking about PERMS! PERMS! PERMS!
Wait! Come back! I know what you’re thinking, female hair models. Perms? That’s grody wack! Yuck to the 5th dimension! But you can trust me! My Names is Bailey! I am enthusiastic about perms! Just look at all these exclamation points!!!!!
Seriously, you guys, perms rock. And I should know, I am Attending Aveda Institute for Cosmetology. You know what they said to us the first day of class at the Aveda Institute for Cosmetology? They said, forget long, straight hair, students. Have you forgotten it? Good. End of Lesson One. Lesson Two: Perms rock! The End. Then they handed out diplomas. They were STICKY!
I think I have proven my point. Perms look good for blonde hair and brown hair and black hair and sometimes even red hair. It’s like a helmet of fuzzy twirls, don’t you know? It is, you can trust me, because you can trust Aveda Institute for Cosmetology. It says so on their diploma and everything. Well, you can’t really see it because it’s smudged. These diplomas were fresh like cinnamon rolls, and smell like cinnamon rolls, too. Smell! YUM!
So please please please please please let me give you all the future in retro hair, the perm. You know what perm stands for, right? Pretty Elegant Really Much. For real! I read it someplace and everything! And you know you can trust me, because My Names is Bailey! Both of them! Except my last name and my middle name. So I Have To Amend That Statement.
In conclusion, I am giving you a perm. Turn around! Look in that mirror! You are a lion with a mane of beautiful. You are like so pretty majestic you could stand outside a public library and people would pay you. PROBABLY. You are welcome! Don’t forget My Names is Bailey! Tell your envious friends. But don’t tell them to contact me with services or other commercial interests.