THE GREATEST BICYCLE OF ALL TIME

Here are the ingredients for the greatest bicycle of all time:

Fifteen jajillion wheels.

No pedals.

Made of the skeletons of pterodactyl bones, so it can fly and travel through time.

Propelled by high-fives and the eating of ice cream.

Has enough seats for everyone in the world, except all the annoying people.

The bell rings the song “Surfin’ Bird” by The Trashmen.

When you pump the brake, you feed all the hungry people in the world for a year.

It has a telephone with speed dial set to the President and Batman.

Santa Claus wants one for Christmas.

Its exhaust is beagle puppies.

It can go through red lights.

Cinnamon to taste.

It can jump multi-bazillion school buses.

It can recite Pi up to one digit before the decimal point.

You can take it in space, but be careful of thieving Martians!

It has not been built yet. Please build it for me.

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