SWITCHBLADE COMB! A SONG

Now you can tell right off that I’m no good,
By the bad-guy ensemble I wear.
And though these clothes strike fear (as they should,)
The dangerousest aspect is my hair.

Now you might think it seems quite tame,
These follicles attopin’ my dome.
But you’re not in on my secret fame,
As the proud owner of a switchblade comb.

Switchblade comb, switchblade comb,
You look like you’re a blade.
But switchblade comb, yeah switchblade comb,
It’s the most awesomefying charade.

I used to get teased mercilessly,
Then things went from bad to worsey.
But with my switchblade comb on me,
My teasers show me a bit more mercy.

Because it strikes fear into the hearts of men,
And it causes all the bullies to back way off.
If you cross me, you’ll see what happens then,
I’m gonna make you turn your head and coiff.

Switchblade comb, switchblade comb,
You won’t stab me in the heart.
But switchblade comb, yeah, switchblade comb,
You’ll give my hair a part.

If you’re really radicool then you’ll join in the fun,
You’ll feel such a thrill running it through your hair.
Bring a friend for fun with more than one,
If you can’t find a partner use a wooden chair.

Oh, switchblade comb, switchblade comb,
The world is watching you.
But switchblade comb, yeah, switchblade comb,
What are you gonna do?

And I say switchblade comb, switchblade comb,
You’re like a second hand,
But switchblade comb, yeah, switchblade comb,
Not as much as my real second hand.
No, not as much as my real second hand.

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2 thoughts on “SWITCHBLADE COMB! A SONG

  1. I like it a lot, especially the line “I’m gonna make you turn your head and coif”, and the reference to some very weird Jerry Lieber lyrics. Have you set this to music yet?

    Ooh, and I just remembered another awesome song you once did called “She’s Out of Control” which I also wondered if you’d ever set to music.

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