Bwah-ha-ha! I bet you thought you’d be getting another Dr. Edgar Euphonium story, didn’t you? Wrong! Instead, you will be treated to my now-official theme song. Sing it at your own risk, and in 4/4 time!
There’s a man who lives a life of evil.
Wherever he finds peace, he’ll cause upheaval.
When he unhinges his jaw
To unleash a wicked “bwah-ha-ha!”
You’ll have hands trembling and two knocking kneevils.
Dr. Wilhelm Skreem! Always hatching evil schemes!
He will shock and he’ll scareious,
That’s why he’s nefarious,
Dr. Wilhelm Skreem!
Now, he is not quite mad but still unusual.
With a consistency that rivals Stan “the Man” Musial.
His heart’s full of acid, his lungs with smog,
And like Snake Walker, he’d kill a frog.
If you cross his path, best bid yourself adieusual!
Dr. Wilhelm Skreem! He’s like cyanide ice cream!
Except he’s nefarious
But don’t contain dairyous,
Dr. Wilhelm Skreem!
Would he, could he raise a zombie?
Might he, fright he build a bombie?
Will he, spill he toxic fluid?
Chance he, dance he old soft shoe-id?
Dr. Wilhelm Skreem! It’s his official wicked theme!
He’s neither hip nor is square-ious,
He’s simply nefarious,
Dr. Wilhelm Skreem!
Begone!
Cotton Candy Beard 