THE LAZIEST ROBOT

Zurt was the laziest robot ever built. He never computed any complex equations, never lifted any fifty-ton objects, he never even battled villainous bald-headed millionaires. Not a one! He just stood in the corner of the Robotics Factory, making a slight buzzing noise and daydreaming. He had no robot ambition, unlike his brother XK-Thousand, who studied robot law at Robot Harvard University. He felt no robot pride, like his cousin BetaVorg, who, along with five other robots, combined to create super-robot MegaZorgaThon, which battled evil forces across the galaxy. No, Zurt just stood in the corner and buzzed, like an apathetic mosquito.
His official job title was Robotics Factory Supervisor, but he did not supervise. And he hated the Robotics Factory. For one thing it was noisy and dangerous, what with all the sparks from the welding arms of Welderbots, various parts flying through the air to be clanged together and drilled with a high-pitched whine into one another. It was also disconcerting to see how other robots were made. Zurt knew he had been built in a dark and impersonal factory like this one, but he didn’t need to be reminded of it every day. And the fact that these tiny nuts and bolts and computer chips were attached to bring to life machines that would go on to bigger and better jobs than Zurt would ever see was just a bit unfair.
What Zurt really wanted to do was act. He wanted to be a big star on the stage, reciting soliloquies and kissing robot leading ladies on the robot lips. He wanted a robot haircut that swooped to the side, and to pretend to be dashing heroes who defeated roguish sneaks with swordplay and witticisms, and won the fair maidens with suavity and witticisms. He wanted to make the robot world laugh with his robot jokes and cry robot tears at the tragedy of his fake, robot actor deaths. But his dreams would never be. Because robots did not watch plays and therefore there was no such thing as a robot actor. Also, Zurt was lazy, and would never have attempted to become an actor anyway.
The moral of the story is that sometimes dreams do not come true. Especially if you’re lazy. You may think a better author would have provided a more satisfying ending, or any ending at all, but I have to disagree with you on that. Not for any specific reason, mind you.
I just disagree.

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