THE GREATEST POEM EVER WRITTEN: AN EPIC POEM OF GREATNESS

In Autumntimes, when the leaves are snappity-cracklity crunching undertoe,
And the colors as magical and fantabulicious as a quintuple rainbow,

I am reminded of what means the Most in the Whole Entire World to Me,
And these are every single one of those things, in descending order:

World Peace
A Pork Tenderloin Sandwich
Cowboy Shirts
Bear Hugs
TV Shows

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BWAH-HA-HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do not adjust your internet! I, the Nefarious Dr. Wilhelm Skreem have taken control of your beloved blog, Cotton Candy Beard, and there is nothing you or your favorite author, Mark J. Hansen can do about it. Nothing! From now on, you will be subjected to my edifying exploits in evil, paralyzing puns of… perspicacity, and if you’re not careful, you might learn something. Something devious! Bwah-ha-ha!

Go ahead! Try and stop me! Run crying to the Internet Police and say, “Cotton Candy Beard has been taken over by the Nefarious Dr. Wilhelm Skreem! Please help!” Do you know what they’ll say? “What’s Cotton Candy Beard?” Bwah-ha-ha! That’s right, no one has heard of this blog, and no one reads it. No one!

Wait. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea.

No matter. I shall put this blog on the map. The Google Map! Bwah-ha-ha! And now I must craft my first real post. And then read it, and edit it, and re-read and edit and re-read once more, then do spelling and grammar check (hit ignore all whenever my name comes up) and finally, when you least expect it, post! Yes, that’s right, post upon this very blog! Bwah-ha-ha! It is to laugh, textually. Begone!

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