Because he’s au fond a huge slob,
I would not double date with The Blob.
That might seem a bit mean,
But just ask Steve McQueen,
Their encounters were truly macabre.

Run and hide if you chance on an alien,
Or they may turn on you and assailien.
You think they’re so benign,
They’ll implement Plan Nine!
For the Good of Mankind just curtailien!

The Creature, when gifted with speech
Went to his fans to wildly beseech:
“For the ninety-ninth time,
My name’s not Frankenstein
Just The Creature, close friends call me Creach.”

Nature’s best friend, Hank David Thoreau,
Would’ve despised that Dr. Moreau.
One peep at the Beast people,
And Hank’s peepers would squeeple
Like a rocket would shoot his chapeau.

Do you know who’s not had a fair copera?
The (considerate) Phantom of the Opera.
Sure, he haunts the theatre,
But to check the floor graters.
To sick patrons, he’ll loan a cough dropera.

You know, I’m as brave as the next fellaton,
But when I see an animate skeleton
There might be a high shriek
My stance a touch more oblique
And shivers that I just can’t quelleton.

No, you shouldn’t torment or harassquatch
The mysterious beast known as Sasquatch.
Though, I might flip your wigfoot,
He’s not all that Bigfoot!
The camera adds ten pounds of massquatch.

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