In a cold, creak-filled house made of shadows and dust,
Where the wind whips through windows all trilly,
There are spirits which make the most jaded nonplussed
And the stouthearted depart scared silly.
Yes, this mansion is filled with specters and spooks
With visages both transparent and thrilly,
All solicitation will be roundly rebuked
It’s terror that they wish to instilly.
There’s Carlos, torn apart by disgruntled baboons
Liv “thought it was just a fire-drilly.”
And ex-rebel soldier Josiah T. Boone,
Killed at the Battle of Bunker Hilly.
A pterosaur plucked off poor Caveman Grug’s head,
Yvette au revoired hers via Bastille-y,
While Sandra and Clem on the day they were wed
Were beheaded by haywire windmilly.
Chet chugged a glass of acid instead of root beer,
Lou took poison in lieu of sleep pilly,
Sue’s brakes broke where there was no safe place to steer
As she rolled to her demise downhilly.
A monster-sized marmot masticated Max,
Behemoth beetles bit up poor Billy.
Twelve tarantulas took the Trap Triplets for snacks
So many spiders, somewhat overkilly.
And there’s countless more ghosts, all wailing and brainsick
With earthly needs they cannot fulfilly.
But don’t enter, your efforts will all be in vainsick
And you’ll only scare yourself silly.