We interrupt the serialized saga of Josephine & Daphne’s Summer Vacation for a Very Important Announcement!
Recently, it has come to light that certain rumors have been spread regarding the eating and drinking habits of monsters. Primarily, that monsters drink blood from, shall we say, the derrière, the rumpus, the backside, the buttocks if you will. Let me state in no uncertain terms that this is patently false.
Not only do (most) monsters not drink blood to begin with, if they did (and the few who do) would never, ever drink blood from someone’s backside. It’s considered rude and uncouth and gauche, all of which mean basically the same thing.
Now, I have nothing against monsters, nor do I have anything against rear ends, generally speaking. Most are very gracious and kind (monsters, not rear ends.) The rudest a monster has ever been to me is when I spotted Chadwick, the sea creature at the grocery store and waved at him. He pretended not to notice me, which hurt my feelings, though I’m almost positive it was because he was with his mom.
There are many things a monster can and will do with a posterior, many of which you can bear witness to at dance parties. But none have ever drank blood from a butt, I can tell you that much for certain.
Thank you for your time.

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