1. Maeve was mauve but she wished she were black,

Her bright color made it so hard to attack.

She had a large head that was quite hard to miss,

The shape of a stop sign with ears clenched like fists.

With no nose to smell with, her life could be easy,

Though she had to mouth-breathe, she never got sneezy.

Her taffeta torso made her a hit with the highbrows,

But her belly-button elbows raised more than a few eyebrows.

In the end ballet dancing was her best feat yet,

With her one pointed leg she mastered the pirouette.

2. Marty was hearty in both laugh and in feature,

With four arms for forearms, he could bear-hug, this creature.

A head made of funnel cake and beard cotton candy*,

And a Gummi-Bear belly kept him in constant demandy.

When Marty would sing and he quite often did,

It sounded like sparklers and smelled like baked bread.

His feet were tapioca so he seldom walked,

But his arms craved guitars and once grasped he would rock!

Yes, Marty looked like an accident of nuclear fission,

But in that way he resembled many a musician.

*(Hey, just like the name of the website!)

3. Emma Hot-Tip was the world’s richest mummy,

Wrapped in dollar bills not bandages, she was literally made of money.

And she was sage, giving her friends wise saving lessons,

Like invest in the Sphinx and be buried with your possessions.

A giant gold tiara topped her head, cocked to the right,

While multi-colored gems round her neck trapped the light.

Though she ambled a bit slowly and smelled rather musty,

She had many friends, though some were not much trusty.

Still, Emma shrugged, things could be a lot worse.

I’m rich and well-liked and that’s no mummy curse.

4. Vernon was burnin’, not for power or fame,

But because his whole head was enveloped in flame.

He wore huge, special grey gloves for itching his dry skull,

And had a pocket in his wallet where he kept his eyeballs.

He was cursed with a gut though he regularly exercised,

But any food he tried to eat became automatically fried.

Still, he strove to look professional if not exactly thin,

With spit-polished black wingtips and black and gray pinstriped skin.

Vernon lucked out lovewise with his wife Carolina Gorch,

Who promised his fiery head would be his only torch.

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