The Museum of Unusual Sentences

Hello! Welcome to the Museum of Unusual Sentences! I am head curator of the museum, Quarl Lafawnge. I know my name must seem strange to you, but it is very common in my homeland of Swedish Falls, Wisconsin. Do enjoy our latest exhibit, Unusual Sentences from Recipes.

Add seventeen end-tablespoons of Piano Juice, simmer until September.

If you haven’t any wheat flour, substitute swimming lessons or your neighbor’s newspaper.

Bring to a boil, and leave it there. We guarantee it will never write you a postcard.

Preheat the oven before reading this recipe and set the timer for Abraham Lincoln.

Bread crumbs will do in a pinch, but not in a pillow fight.

Always remember to never forget.

Stir counterclockwise, unless you can’t tell time, in which case stir counterclockwise.

If your Pineapple Upside Down Cake cannot be seen in a mirror, do not eat it! It is actually Vampire Upside Down Cake, which is dangerous and usually too dry.

Thank you, I hope you can join me again at the Museum of Unusual Sentences. Until then, I bid you tuxedo ceiling fan.

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