Cotton Candy Beard

Hello, dear readers! I hope you are all enjoying the new look of the old blog. I must say, I think it’s more festive and exciting; more of what this website is all about. You know? Sure, we all do.

What else? Well, I don’t know what else. You will just have to stay tuned. So, do that.

Greetings, faithful readers! My apologies for the sporadic postings over the last couple of months, but I have good news. The coming months will see many, many, many, many updates at the same steady pace you’ve come to know and possibly notice. Here’s a sneak peek at what to expect in the ensuing calendar weeks:

And then May will come around and there will be more, as yet to be planned stuff. Ooh, mysterious! Until then, look forward to more goofy tales and inspiring words. And it’s all happening here! Don’t miss it!

Whoa! So, so, sorry, dear Cotton Candy Beardos. I’m not exactly sure how the Nefarious Dr. Wilhelm Skreem was able to hijack my blog, but thanks to the natural curiosity of clones, we seem to be back online and up and running and all that. Word has it, from Dr. Gertrude Steinway, that he and his clone self were last seen in a dinghy in the middle of Lake Colvig, fighting over the last oar and the last slice of cheeseburger pizza. So, we won’t be hearing from them anytime soon. Or will we?

Anyhow, the badder news, bears, is that we are now working diligently to re-secure the blog and make sure we don’t have any more interruptions like this last one. Currently, I am working on installing a brand new firewall by borrowing some of the fire from the sun, some lava from the Earth’s core and some super hot peppers from Texas. I’m also interviewing circus strongmen to stand guard and keep an eye on website from now on. So, if you know of anyone who fits this description, please send them my way. Unfortunately, due to all of this work, the website will be on hiatus until the New Year. But, look for more exciting tales and silly poems once we come back, I can promise that they will be extra good! And please please please, let me know what you think! Spam comments are about as good for you as the canned meat product for which they are named, and yet they make up the bulk of my commenting community. But, most importantly, enjoy!

Greetings, faithful readers of my website, whom I affectionately call Cotton Candy Beardos. I am writing you today in honor of a most auspicious event: The 50th Post! In not quite one year, I have made you laugh, learn, relaugh, unlearn and lunge for the back browser button in terror and joy and heartwarming…ness.
I sincerely hope you’ve enjoyed Cotton Candy Beard so far, and that you’ll continue to read it, as I astound and amaze you with feats of storytelling derring-do and and web updates of unbelievable speed and agility. However, I am forced by forces which force me to be forced to stop posting for approximately one month, at which time the forces which are forcing me to be forced will force me with their forcing forces no longer! And then, I shall triumphantly resume posting.
But what, you ask your computer monitor, what will you be posting? I’m glad you asked! Once September rolls around like a log unfettered, twice a week posts will start up again, including a sure to be educational four-part series entitled The Inventions of Dr. Edgar Euphonium.In addition to that will be stories and poems and various other magillas.
Then, prepare to be spooked silly as October will be filled with tales of ghosts, monsters and other frightening folks. To save your nerves, these macabre missives will only be updated once a week, so you won’t tax your terror tarsi. As always, I invite your comments, reviews and illustrations. Thank you!

We interrupt the serialized saga of Josephine & Daphne’s Summer Vacation for a Very Important Announcement!
Recently, it has come to light that certain rumors have been spread regarding the eating and drinking habits of monsters. Primarily, that monsters drink blood from, shall we say, the derrière, the rumpus, the backside, the buttocks if you will. Let me state in no uncertain terms that this is patently false.
Not only do (most) monsters not drink blood to begin with, if they did (and the few who do) would never, ever drink blood from someone’s backside. It’s considered rude and uncouth and gauche, all of which mean basically the same thing.
Now, I have nothing against monsters, nor do I have anything against rear ends, generally speaking. Most are very gracious and kind (monsters, not rear ends.) The rudest a monster has ever been to me is when I spotted Chadwick, the sea creature at the grocery store and waved at him. He pretended not to notice me, which hurt my feelings, though I’m almost positive it was because he was with his mom.
There are many things a monster can and will do with a posterior, many of which you can bear witness to at dance parties. But none have ever drank blood from a butt, I can tell you that much for certain.
Thank you for your time.