THE NEFARIOUS DR WILHELM SKREEM’S KNOTORIOUS KNOCK-KNOCK JOKES

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Evil

Evil who?

Evil laugh! Bwah-ha-ha!

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Ray

Ray who?

Ray for to be scrambling your atoms! (Note: fix the syntax)

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Gorilla

Gorilla who?

Gorilla modified to act upon my command. Attack!

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Nefarious

Nefarious Dr. Wilhelm Skreem?

No

Oh. Nefarious Dr. Wilhelm Skreem who?

Nefarious Dr. Wilhelm Skreem’s fists! Bam! Pow!

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Banana

Banana who?

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Banana

Banana who?

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Banana

Banana who?

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Banana

Banana who?

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Laser bazooka

Laser bazooka who?

Laser bazooka I didn’t say banana? Also, kra-thoom-zap!

FLYING HAMBURGER

Flying Hamburger Away!

Swooping down to save the day

If your bicycle is taken

He will save with cheese and bacon

Bad guys throw their guns and flee

When they see buns of sesame

No one ever questions why

This big hamburger can fly

And no one dare call it tatty

This amazing floating patty

Flying Hamburger must go

But it will come back, this I know

RODEO CLOWN

Rodeo Clown

Went into town

To get himself some ice cream

Along came the bulls

To kill off their lulls

And caused the people to scream

So rodeo clown

With face full of frown

Took the bulls home with a sigh

The bulls they felt bad

And cured the clown’s sad

By baking him banana cream pie

FISTFIGHT CIRCUS

Look out! Here comes the Fistfight Circus!

Where bears and lions go berserkus

The pachyderms pack a real punch

And beware of the Monkey Bunch

They fight with guile, tooth and nail

And really know how to use that tail!

Acrobats fly through the air

Giving wedgies, pulling hair

Clowns pour out of little cars

Punch with pies til you see stars

You’d really have to be a jerkus

To enjoy the Fistfight Circus

HAT & TIE

“Tie! My guy! How’s it hanging?”

“Long and narrow, hat, long and narrow. How is life at the top?”

“Not as lonely as they say. Not with you around, anyway.”

“We do make a great team, don’t we, hat?”

“We certainly do, tie, we certainly do.”

“Shame about cummerbund.”

“Crying shame. He was a real mensch. Still, he saw it coming.”

“And, and, and, it’s like I said, tastes are cyclical. He’ll be back.”

“Oh, you know it. Remember when hats were passé?”

“Those were dark times, indeed.”

“You’re telling me!”

“Have you met belt?”

“Not yet, but I’ve heard good things.”

“We’ll need to loosen him up, but I think he’s good accessory.”

“We’re masters of loosening, that’s for sure.’

“Too true, too true!”